All about cats

What age do you fix a cat

A kitten.

How do you get a cat to stop running?

You can't.

Why do cats have nine lives?

So they can lose seven.

Why do cats flop around?

Because they don't know how to sit down.

What do you call a cat with no feet?

A catatonic.

What kind of cat walks on water?

A feline.

How do you stop a cat from peeing on the rug?

Why do cats always land on their feet?

Because they forgot to sink.

How can you tell a cat from a dog?

A cat will look you in the eye and meow "Meow!"

What's the difference between a cat and a lie?

A cat has the ability to purr.

What do you call a cat that has nine lives?

A really good mouser.

What do you call a cat that can't see?

A blind man's cat.

What do you call a cat that won't clean up its mess?

A cat that's too lazy.

What do you call a cat that runs backwards?

A cat that's going home.

A cat that's already dead.

Because they can't count to three.

They only have two feet.

What do you call a cat that only has two legs?

A cripple.

Because they can't count to nine.

What's the difference between a cat and a dog?

A cat won't eat your homework.

What do you call a blind man's cat?

A cat with one eye.

A blind man's cat that can't see.

What do you call a blind man's cat that can't see?

A man's cat.

A cat.

What do you call a man with one eye?

A cat-watcher.

What do you call a cat that can see in the dark?

A cat with a flashlight.

A cat that can see in the dark.

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